Believe it or not, this three things do go together. All three things were part of my day yesterday.
It all started when I decided to make a nice dinner for my husband and myself. {Are you beginning to see why I don't cook that often?} I put a pot of water on the stove to boil. I checked on my husband and son as they were fixing the leaking tub faucet. When I went back to check on my unwatched pot, sure that it would be boiling, I smelled something strange. I looked around the kitchen and stared at my newest jenga-tower of old leftovers discovered in the refrigerator the day before. Certain those leftovers couldn't smell good, I still wasn't convinced that was the source of this particular stench. I walked up to my boiling pot of water and the smell got much stronger. It was just water. In a pot. Why the smell?? I shrugged, thinking maybe my sense of smell was just {really} off. I opened the package of tortelloni, but I couldn't bring myself to put it in the smelly boiling water.
Finally, I called my husband into the kitchen as the smell just seemed to get worse and worse. He immediately detected the malodor now permeating throughout the house. He exclaimed, "It smells dead!" Not exactly the reaction I was looking for in regards to my nice dinner. However, it did confirm that my skyscraper of leftovers was not the source.
My husband sniffed and snooped, moving things around in the kitchen to pinpoint the epicenter. He moved the pot of boiling water, unplugged the burner, and groaned and he turned away from the stove. "That's what I was afraid of," he moaned. "You've been roasting a dead mouse!"
I'll spare you the gory details that followed. All I can say is that the next twenty minutes involved a lot of nose-pinching, gagging, and candle-lighting. Men always wonder why a woman needs to buy five candles every time she goes to one of those parties. Well men, now I can tell you why. It's for the day that your wife tries to make you a nice, Italian dinner and instead roasts a {dead} mouse. In fact, we would have appreciated having MORE candles on hand. And some air freshener.
Not two seconds after we--err, my husband--finished cleaning up the mess, my phone rang. "Oh that's her!" I told my husband as I tossed my son into his unexpectant arms and ran to the dining room.
Our local magazine is doing an article on Army wives and my mother-in-law (who'd just interviewed with them about her mom for an article on war brides) gave them my name and number as a resource. So, yesterday afternoon, with the reek of roasted rodent still burning my nostrils, I gave my very first interview. I was nervous, but I think it went well. I'm looking forward to seeing the article. It'll be weird to see my family's names in print, but how cool!
An hour later, when the interview was finished and the candles were the only aroma in the kitchen, I re-boiled my water. I cheated by microwaving the {canned} green beans and I burnt the garlic bread, but nonetheless, our meal turned out quite well.
Thursday, February 10, 2011
Wednesday, February 9, 2011
Diligence
{"constant and earnest effort to accomplish what is undertaken"~Dictionary.com}
Training and raising a child certainly requires diligence~~every moment of every day.
About a month ago, I began to teach my son to say, "Mmm, Mama!" to indicate when he was hungry. See, usually whenever he tried to alert me to the rumbling in his tummy or his readiness to partake in yet another bite, he would cry. Or whine. Or scream. It didn't really matter which method he chose; none of them were pleasing to the ear and had the tendency to set one's teeth on edge. Since he knew both "Mama" for me and "Mmm" for food, I decided to encourage him to combine the two into an acceptable phrase to replace the other noises he made.
He caught on very quickly. Not that he didn't need reminders from time to time, but he did very well. Then, it suddenly occurred to him that he didn't have to do things my way. He could choose to refuse to say, "Mmm, Mama!" He could go back to screaming instead. So, we tested my stubbornness against his. I continued to calmly remind him that "No" screaming was not an appropriate way to communicate that you are ready for the next bite.
Finally, he gave up and decided that maybe screaming wasn't the best route. After all, he didn't seem to get his next bite after whining his wishes. He only seemed to get that bite when he said the magic words.
This then brings us to yesterday...
We braved our local grocery store to stock up before the next big snowstorm hit. I plopped my son down in the seat of the cart and off we went to the produce section. As I examined the produce, his eyes lit up. Wide-eyed, he exclaimed, "MAMA, MMM!!" I laughed and said, "Yes, sweetheart. This is food, but we're here to shop, not to eat. We'll eat when we get back home." All throughout the store, growing in intensity at the yogurt cooler and again at the baby food aisle, he continued to announce with surprised enthusiasm, "MAMA, MMM! MMM, MAMA, MMM!!"
Hey, at least he learned to use his words, right?
Training and raising a child certainly requires diligence~~every moment of every day.
About a month ago, I began to teach my son to say, "Mmm, Mama!" to indicate when he was hungry. See, usually whenever he tried to alert me to the rumbling in his tummy or his readiness to partake in yet another bite, he would cry. Or whine. Or scream. It didn't really matter which method he chose; none of them were pleasing to the ear and had the tendency to set one's teeth on edge. Since he knew both "Mama" for me and "Mmm" for food, I decided to encourage him to combine the two into an acceptable phrase to replace the other noises he made.
He caught on very quickly. Not that he didn't need reminders from time to time, but he did very well. Then, it suddenly occurred to him that he didn't have to do things my way. He could choose to refuse to say, "Mmm, Mama!" He could go back to screaming instead. So, we tested my stubbornness against his. I continued to calmly remind him that "No" screaming was not an appropriate way to communicate that you are ready for the next bite.
Finally, he gave up and decided that maybe screaming wasn't the best route. After all, he didn't seem to get his next bite after whining his wishes. He only seemed to get that bite when he said the magic words.
This then brings us to yesterday...
We braved our local grocery store to stock up before the next big snowstorm hit. I plopped my son down in the seat of the cart and off we went to the produce section. As I examined the produce, his eyes lit up. Wide-eyed, he exclaimed, "MAMA, MMM!!" I laughed and said, "Yes, sweetheart. This is food, but we're here to shop, not to eat. We'll eat when we get back home." All throughout the store, growing in intensity at the yogurt cooler and again at the baby food aisle, he continued to announce with surprised enthusiasm, "MAMA, MMM! MMM, MAMA, MMM!!"
Hey, at least he learned to use his words, right?
Monday, February 7, 2011
Break Time
Saturday night I went to bed late, so I gave myself a "break" from having to do my Before Bed routine.
Then Sunday night, I debated about giving myself another "break"...until I realized that the real BREAK is actually doing my routine!
When I do my Before Bed routine, it makes my morning go so much more smoothly, giving me a BREAK from running around like a chicken with my head cut off! Or sleeping until my son finally drags me out of bed with his screaming. And of course, the best break of all will be when these things that I do each evening and each morning are second-nature and it feels funny NOT to do them. {Though I must remind myself: "Focus on the journey, not the destination. Joy is found not in finishing an activity, but in doing it."~Greg Anderson}
I can tell I'm on that road already. Less and less do I have to look up at the road signs to make sure I'm going the right direction. I find myself remembering to turn right ahead and then make a left turn. I gotta say, I really like memorizing my "drive" to work. It makes life so much easier!
"The road of life twists and turns and no two directions are ever the same. Yet our lessons come from the journey, not the destination."~Don Williams, Jr.
Babysteps, babysteps!
"To get through the hardest journey we need take only one step at a time, but we must keep on stepping."~Chinese proverb
Then Sunday night, I debated about giving myself another "break"...until I realized that the real BREAK is actually doing my routine!
When I do my Before Bed routine, it makes my morning go so much more smoothly, giving me a BREAK from running around like a chicken with my head cut off! Or sleeping until my son finally drags me out of bed with his screaming. And of course, the best break of all will be when these things that I do each evening and each morning are second-nature and it feels funny NOT to do them. {Though I must remind myself: "Focus on the journey, not the destination. Joy is found not in finishing an activity, but in doing it."~Greg Anderson}
I can tell I'm on that road already. Less and less do I have to look up at the road signs to make sure I'm going the right direction. I find myself remembering to turn right ahead and then make a left turn. I gotta say, I really like memorizing my "drive" to work. It makes life so much easier!
"The road of life twists and turns and no two directions are ever the same. Yet our lessons come from the journey, not the destination."~Don Williams, Jr.
Babysteps, babysteps!
"To get through the hardest journey we need take only one step at a time, but we must keep on stepping."~Chinese proverb
Wednesday, February 2, 2011
Practice Makes Perfect!
Well...almost ;)
We're told this all our lives. I am going to let you in on a little secret though: *whispers* I'm not perfect. I'm not EVER going to be perfect.
Not in this life anyway. I'm looking forward to the amazing upgrade I'll get in the next life :)
While the saying "Practice makes perfect" is untrue and a completely unrealistic goal, this by no means diminishes the importance of practice. I'm learning a lot about practice in trying to set new habits. There are obstacles all along the way, but if you persevere and continue to practice to set that habit concretely in your life, the payoff will be quite rewarding. At least, that's what I'm hoping ;)
I've told myself that I don't need to practice my routines unless I'm at home. Finally this evening, truth broke through. Yes, I do need to continue to practice my routines so that they will become second nature--regardless of where I am. While I may not be able to do them exactly according to my plan, I should do them as closely to how I would do them at home as possible.
So tonight, I practiced. I went through my evening routine. I may not have my own bedroom, living room, kitchen, etc., but I do have my own things. Therefore, I can pick up my clothes, papers, bags, and so on and declutter.
As I was going through my routine, I had a revelation: I THRIVE on routines. It energizes me and gives me a sense of accomplishment.
So, here's to many more evenings (and mornings!) of practicing routines until they are perfe--uh, sufficient!
We're told this all our lives. I am going to let you in on a little secret though: *whispers* I'm not perfect. I'm not EVER going to be perfect.
Not in this life anyway. I'm looking forward to the amazing upgrade I'll get in the next life :)
While the saying "Practice makes perfect" is untrue and a completely unrealistic goal, this by no means diminishes the importance of practice. I'm learning a lot about practice in trying to set new habits. There are obstacles all along the way, but if you persevere and continue to practice to set that habit concretely in your life, the payoff will be quite rewarding. At least, that's what I'm hoping ;)
I've told myself that I don't need to practice my routines unless I'm at home. Finally this evening, truth broke through. Yes, I do need to continue to practice my routines so that they will become second nature--regardless of where I am. While I may not be able to do them exactly according to my plan, I should do them as closely to how I would do them at home as possible.
So tonight, I practiced. I went through my evening routine. I may not have my own bedroom, living room, kitchen, etc., but I do have my own things. Therefore, I can pick up my clothes, papers, bags, and so on and declutter.
As I was going through my routine, I had a revelation: I THRIVE on routines. It energizes me and gives me a sense of accomplishment.
So, here's to many more evenings (and mornings!) of practicing routines until they are perfe--uh, sufficient!
Monday, January 31, 2011
Training
Yesterday, my son and I went to church for the first time in several months. Thanks to God waking me up, we even got there in time for Sunday school! My sister and brother-in-law visited the church that I went to as a teenager--and that my parents still attend--last week, so we decided to go to church with them and with my parents.
Anyway, I dropped my son off in the nursery and while he was clingy at first, after his traditional two hugs and a few kisses, he was good to go. We had a great classtime in Sunday school and then it was time for service. I picked my son up from the nursery letting the nursery workers know that I would be bringing him back once the message began.
I love to have my son in the music part of "big" service for many reasons. First of all, I believe music is the first way that children learn to praise God. Secondly, at the beginning of the service there are announcements and prayers, so this gives my son a reasonably short amount of time to begin to practice being quiet and respectful during service. And finally, I train myself during this time too!
That may not make sense at first glance, but it's true! I need just as much training at having him with me during service as he needs at being in service. See, I'll find myself getting bored and start playing with him. This completely contradicts every "Shh" and "No" I say to him. If I am to train him to be respectful during church, that it is not a time of play, but of worship, then I must first set an example by not only being respectful and worshiping, but also by not making him my toy.
Anyway, I dropped my son off in the nursery and while he was clingy at first, after his traditional two hugs and a few kisses, he was good to go. We had a great classtime in Sunday school and then it was time for service. I picked my son up from the nursery letting the nursery workers know that I would be bringing him back once the message began.
I love to have my son in the music part of "big" service for many reasons. First of all, I believe music is the first way that children learn to praise God. Secondly, at the beginning of the service there are announcements and prayers, so this gives my son a reasonably short amount of time to begin to practice being quiet and respectful during service. And finally, I train myself during this time too!
That may not make sense at first glance, but it's true! I need just as much training at having him with me during service as he needs at being in service. See, I'll find myself getting bored and start playing with him. This completely contradicts every "Shh" and "No" I say to him. If I am to train him to be respectful during church, that it is not a time of play, but of worship, then I must first set an example by not only being respectful and worshiping, but also by not making him my toy.
Monday, January 24, 2011
Babysteps
So, I'm the jump-in-with-both-feet type of person. The get-a-bright-idea-and-overdo-it-crash-and-burn kind of girl.
My friend introduced me to FlyLady many years ago. I tried and tried, but never could quite get it. Mainly because everytime she said, "Babysteps, babysteps, babysteps!" I heard the Charlie Brown teacher say, "Wah-wah, wah-wah, wah-wah!"
Don't get me wrong. I LOVE FlyLady! It's just that for some reason, I thought I was above having to do it in babysteps. She warned me I would crash and burn, yet every time just like the time before, I would say to myself, "Not this time, FlyLady! I'll do it MY way and I WILL succeed!" Yet flat on my face I would fall. And instead of getting back up, I would just lay there and moan.
In the past couple of days, I have finished reading FlyLady's books, Sink Reflections and Body Clutter. Again, I heard the warnings and heard her emphasize babysteps. Still, in the beginning, I didn't really heeded that. I began to crash and burn over the past couple of weeks. Everything was slipping. My 365 project, my exercise, my weight loss, my calorie goals. My reading was the one thing that I stayed on top of consistently.
Finally, I began to pull myself back up and say, "No. Just because I fall does not mean I have to fail. I will get back up. I will try again. I WILL do this."
So, babysteps. I started a Before Bed Routine and a Morning Routine. I haven't done it perfectly everyday. But, I have buckled down and tried to just get through it, even if it wasn't perfect. I am beginning to see progress! Hallelujah! I think about jumping ahead and how I could do things better, more perfectly, and I stop myself. Just doing it for now is enough. I can add and improve later. Slowly. I want it to stick this time. It WILL stick this time.
I have amended one of FlyLady's favorite sayings and I believe it will become my new mantra: "Perseverance and progress, not perfection."
Happy Monday, everyone!
My friend introduced me to FlyLady many years ago. I tried and tried, but never could quite get it. Mainly because everytime she said, "Babysteps, babysteps, babysteps!" I heard the Charlie Brown teacher say, "Wah-wah, wah-wah, wah-wah!"
Don't get me wrong. I LOVE FlyLady! It's just that for some reason, I thought I was above having to do it in babysteps. She warned me I would crash and burn, yet every time just like the time before, I would say to myself, "Not this time, FlyLady! I'll do it MY way and I WILL succeed!" Yet flat on my face I would fall. And instead of getting back up, I would just lay there and moan.
In the past couple of days, I have finished reading FlyLady's books, Sink Reflections and Body Clutter. Again, I heard the warnings and heard her emphasize babysteps. Still, in the beginning, I didn't really heeded that. I began to crash and burn over the past couple of weeks. Everything was slipping. My 365 project, my exercise, my weight loss, my calorie goals. My reading was the one thing that I stayed on top of consistently.
Finally, I began to pull myself back up and say, "No. Just because I fall does not mean I have to fail. I will get back up. I will try again. I WILL do this."
So, babysteps. I started a Before Bed Routine and a Morning Routine. I haven't done it perfectly everyday. But, I have buckled down and tried to just get through it, even if it wasn't perfect. I am beginning to see progress! Hallelujah! I think about jumping ahead and how I could do things better, more perfectly, and I stop myself. Just doing it for now is enough. I can add and improve later. Slowly. I want it to stick this time. It WILL stick this time.
I have amended one of FlyLady's favorite sayings and I believe it will become my new mantra: "Perseverance and progress, not perfection."
Happy Monday, everyone!
Saturday, January 15, 2011
Struggles and Routines
I have truly struggled this past week. We went out of town last weekend, and while I did keep up with my resolutions, that seemed to start a downslide. Day by day, I seemed to be doing less and less, sleeping more, and feeling worse. I was still taking my magic pill, so I couldn't figure out what was wrong.
Yesterday, I really just didn't feel well. My anxiety had sky-rocketed to the point that my hands were even shaky. Even though I had taken my pill the night before, I was ADD to the point that I couldn't concentrate on finding my cell phone charger, working, or making coffee. Finally, I realized one small thing: I had to allow myself to feel off.
This past week, we started receiving emails from the Guard informing us of upcoming dates for my husband. We found out he would be gone three weekends in a row, unexpectedly. Then yesterday, he got his official deployment orders. No wonder I was feeling off! (Although that wasn't all of it) As much as I may not want to admit it to myself, much less others, I am anxious. I am anxious for my husband, for my son, and for myself. I want to be able to handle this deployment in a healthy manner and not sink into depression. Because this past year has overflowed with its own trials, I have somewhat ignored the upcoming deployment. It has always been in the back of my mind and I have formed plans and strategies to not only survive, but to thrive. But, now I must accept it and face it head-on.
I was talking to my mother-in-law yesterday and she started asking me questions about my routine: when I was feeling great, was I doing something differently than I had this past week? When do I drink my coffee? Take my pills? I started to notice that she had figured out a big part of the puzzle. My routine was different over the weekend and this past week than it has been the week before. She suggested I go back to my original routine (with a few minor changes) and be purposeful about making it the same everyday. She also reminded me that not every day is going to be good. There will be bad days and that's okay. God has given me so many opportunities lately to learn this valuable lesson from FlyLady: "Progress not perfection."
So, last night in the spirit of progress, I planned out my morning routine (yet again, hehe) and this morning I executed my new plan. I got up at the previously decided-on time. I took my pill before I got out of bed. I made coffee and breakfast. My son got up earlier than I expected, so I took time out to make his breakfast and feed him, then went back to my routine. I ate my breakfast, drank my coffee, wrote in my prayer journal. I read this month's fiction book. Then it was time for my son to take his first nap. I had decided I would work during his nap. As I sat at my desk to begin typing, I realized that I felt GREAT. We thought it might take a few days to adjust (and I can't speak for any future days yet), but today has gone great. It hasn't been perfect. My house is not spotless. But. I feel good. I've read books, written in my journals, entered data for work, and I'll be going to the gym once my son wakes up.
Now that I know that it makes a difference, I need to protect the time that I take my pill, drink my coffee, and talk with God. I should not allow sleep or my computer or anything else to take away that sacred time. It's how I need to begin my day. It's a choice: do I want to have a good day, a productive day and feel great? Or do I want to feel heavy and lethargic and accomplish next to nothing? (I do still manage to take care of my child on these days, so that counts as accomplishing something ;) ) And secondly, I need to allow myself to not be perfect, to feel anxious, to feel down or "off."
Well, I hear my son, so it's off to the gym and then to enjoy the rest of my day!
Yesterday, I really just didn't feel well. My anxiety had sky-rocketed to the point that my hands were even shaky. Even though I had taken my pill the night before, I was ADD to the point that I couldn't concentrate on finding my cell phone charger, working, or making coffee. Finally, I realized one small thing: I had to allow myself to feel off.
This past week, we started receiving emails from the Guard informing us of upcoming dates for my husband. We found out he would be gone three weekends in a row, unexpectedly. Then yesterday, he got his official deployment orders. No wonder I was feeling off! (Although that wasn't all of it) As much as I may not want to admit it to myself, much less others, I am anxious. I am anxious for my husband, for my son, and for myself. I want to be able to handle this deployment in a healthy manner and not sink into depression. Because this past year has overflowed with its own trials, I have somewhat ignored the upcoming deployment. It has always been in the back of my mind and I have formed plans and strategies to not only survive, but to thrive. But, now I must accept it and face it head-on.
I was talking to my mother-in-law yesterday and she started asking me questions about my routine: when I was feeling great, was I doing something differently than I had this past week? When do I drink my coffee? Take my pills? I started to notice that she had figured out a big part of the puzzle. My routine was different over the weekend and this past week than it has been the week before. She suggested I go back to my original routine (with a few minor changes) and be purposeful about making it the same everyday. She also reminded me that not every day is going to be good. There will be bad days and that's okay. God has given me so many opportunities lately to learn this valuable lesson from FlyLady: "Progress not perfection."
So, last night in the spirit of progress, I planned out my morning routine (yet again, hehe) and this morning I executed my new plan. I got up at the previously decided-on time. I took my pill before I got out of bed. I made coffee and breakfast. My son got up earlier than I expected, so I took time out to make his breakfast and feed him, then went back to my routine. I ate my breakfast, drank my coffee, wrote in my prayer journal. I read this month's fiction book. Then it was time for my son to take his first nap. I had decided I would work during his nap. As I sat at my desk to begin typing, I realized that I felt GREAT. We thought it might take a few days to adjust (and I can't speak for any future days yet), but today has gone great. It hasn't been perfect. My house is not spotless. But. I feel good. I've read books, written in my journals, entered data for work, and I'll be going to the gym once my son wakes up.
Now that I know that it makes a difference, I need to protect the time that I take my pill, drink my coffee, and talk with God. I should not allow sleep or my computer or anything else to take away that sacred time. It's how I need to begin my day. It's a choice: do I want to have a good day, a productive day and feel great? Or do I want to feel heavy and lethargic and accomplish next to nothing? (I do still manage to take care of my child on these days, so that counts as accomplishing something ;) ) And secondly, I need to allow myself to not be perfect, to feel anxious, to feel down or "off."
Well, I hear my son, so it's off to the gym and then to enjoy the rest of my day!
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