Nemesis

"Winter either bites with its teeth or lashes with its tail."~Proverb

Winter. My nemesis.

It is full of freezing temperatures (32 degrees IS freezing), very little sunlight, loooong nights, dead trees, dead leaves, dead grass, gray weather, and cabin fever.

It is the most unmotivating of all the seasons.

All I want to do, for the entire duration of winter, is to don fuzzy socks, comfy pants, and a warm sweater, wrap myself in an extra large blanket, sip hot chocolate, and read a good book. And sleep. A lot. The bears have definitely figured out the best coping mechanism.

This morning, I took my husband to work. I got up at 5:30AM (we're on about as good of terms as Winter and I) and went out into the FREEZING cold to take him to work so I could have the car for the rest of the day. I was in an awful mood as I sat bundled up in the passenger seat, waiting for the car to warm up. In fact, I'm pretty sure a solemn vow was made declaring that I would not be leaving the house again for the rest of winter.

Finally, as the heat began to thaw me out, I looked around. I noticed, for the first time in a long time, how beautiful city lights are in the dark. I saw white smoke beautifully wisping upward, slowed down by the frigid temperatures.

Although we will never be BFF's, Old Man Winter does occassionally temper my ill will with his hot chocolate, Christmas holiday, and sporadic snowflakes.

So, until we meet again, dear Springtime, I shall try to savor the blessings of Winter.

"Winter is the time for comfort, for good food and warmth, for the touch of a friendly hand and for a talk beside the fire: it is the time for home."~Edith Sitwell (emphasis added)

{Special thanks to The Quote Garden}

Why? {Part 1}

"But as for you, speak the things which are proper for sound doctrine...that [the older women] admonish the young women to love their husbands, to love their children, to be discreet, chaste, homemakers, good, obedient to their own husbands, that the word of God may not be blasphemed."~Titus 2:1, 4-5, with emphasis added

I chose to become a homemaker before we had our son. Even before we had decided to start having children. Not a popular decision in today's society, but I felt God wanted me to get an "early" start on learning to be a homemaker before the distraction of babies. Real hands-on learning.

Even before the onslaught of dirty diapers, attempted breast-feeding turned pumping and bottle-feeding turned formula-feeding, and constant teething, learning the ways of homemaking was no easy task.

I am a perfectionist. And OCD. I like order and schedules and productive days.

I am also a procrastinator. Why do today what you can put off until tomorrow?

In the world of homemaking, this a major no-no. You quickly get into the mindset of "There's always tomorrow!" And suddenly, a month has flown by with ZERO productive days! There's a Jenga-like tower of moldy dishes in the sink, mountains of laundry in every which direction with no distinction between dirty and clean, and paper scattered about like the aftermath of a tornado. Absolute and utter CHAOS!

So finally, I created my schedules. And routines. Plan A and Plan B. And the cycle of productivity followed by procrastination leading to a lack of productivity back to a renaissance of productivity ensued.

I discovered in addition to being a procrastinator, I am also undisciplined.

In an environment such as school where schedules and deadlines are thrust upon me, I THRIVE. In my new, unfamiliar universe of self-discipline and self-management with no report cards or finished products, I continue to struggle.

But this is where God has called me to be. Regardless of my level of raw talent for home management. Despite the substantial amount of money I might make doing something else. This is where I need to be.

Black Friday

Ah, Black Friday. A day that only comes once a year (Thank goodness). The day that officially kicks off the Christmas shopping season. (You see, Trader Joe's had it wrong. The four seasons are not "Winter, Spring, Summer, Pumpkin," but rather Spring, Summer, Pumpkin, Christmas shopping.)

And also the day to catch up on smelly old dirty dishes.

Okay, so maybe not. But that's what I did on Black Friday. The Leaning Tower of Pisa had been smirking at me long enough. (That and my husband had a psychotic break on Wednesday and rabidly washed dishes in a fit of anxiety. For the first time in YEARS he washed dishes, making me feel exceptionally guilty...after my feelings of overwhelming shock, awe, and joy subsided...)

I dove in, hands first. I scrubbed and rubbed and sprayed and soaked. Black Friday took on a whole new meaning for me as I mentally reminded myself to use the "Heavy Wash" setting for extra sanitation. *shudder*

But finally, the dishwasher was full and only one (yes, ONE!) lonely, leftover pot remained in the sink with a sprinkling of silverware. I was too spent to disinfect the kitchen counters. Oh well, job security.

{Special thanks to The Quote Garden. Original quote: "Oh how we love pumpkin season. You did know this gourd-ish squash has its own season, right? Winter, Spring, Summer, Pumpkin...We anxiously anticipate it every year."~Trader Joe's Fearless Flyer, October 2010}

Habits

"The second half of a man's life is made up of nothing but the habits he has acquired during the first half."~Feodor Dostoevski

As I look around my bedroom "suite" (we moved our TV and loveseat in...I'll share another time), I see clothes, cords, and toys strewn about. I think to myself, "Ugh! I just had this room completely clean YESTERDAY! Why won't it stay clean??" And of course, even more quickly than the previous thought popped into my head, sprang the answer: Me. My husband. OUR HABITS.

We live like college students. Our endtables are a glorious buffet of snacks and drinks with a few Xbox controllers and tubes of butt paste thrown in (that's for the little one! Diaper rash, you know).

Then at the end of the day, we simply go to bed. No picking up. No putting up. And obviously no washing dishes. Our day's clothes are tossed carelessly onto the floor. Where else would we put them? We couldn't possibly put them in the clothes hampers (yes, I have multiple baskets) because they are overflowing with clean clothes from the last time Snow White visited (Puh! She's apparently not any good at folding, hanging, and putting away clothes. I guess you get what you pay for). Our glasses with their last drops of Sangria and my bowl still half full (see? I can be an optimist) of my dinner from last night (I was trying to be good and stop eating once I got full) cluttered the tables to the left and right of our loveseat. Not very lovely, huh? Well, there's no way they could go in the sink! I'm afraid if I try to add one more dish, it'll be "Jenga!" Game over.

And that, teamed up with my perpetual cycle of procrastination and perfectionism, is how my house seems to be is in a constant state of unholy mess.

"Bad habits are easier to abandon today than tomorrow."-Yiddish proverb

Thank you, um, Yiddish people, for reminding me that now is the time to set good habits.

But why is it so stinking hard?! Believe me, I have tried for 3 1/2 years to attain a new atmosphere in my home, a state of constant perfection full of cleanliness and order.

"Habits are first cobwebs, then cables."~Spanish proverb

Ahh, thank you, dear Spaniards, for your enlightenment.

So does anyone have any cable-cutters??

"Habit is habit, and is not to be flung out of the window by any man, but coaxed downstairs a step at a time."~Mark Twain

Fine, Mr. Clemens, I'll take baby steps, but just so you know, I won't be happy about it! I want a microwave solution! A ~*MAGIC*~ fix!

But alas, there is none. There is only change. Deep and utter heart change. Then thought change. Then deed change. Then perseverance. Then more perseverance. And finally, a new habit is born.

*raises her glass* Here's to becoming the woman I want to be in the second half of my life by being the woman I want to be in the first half of my life! *clinks her glass with yours* Slainte!

{Special thanks to The Quote Garden for their overflowing words of wisdom from sages past}

Confessional Booth

Today I realized I have reached a new level of low in achieving my dreams to be the perfect Proverbs 31 Woman:

I have been using the same spoon to feed my son 3-4 times a day for the past week in an avoidance to tackle the Leaning Tower of Pisa in my kitchen sink.

There. I've said it.

See, I'm a perfectionist, but if I know something can't be perfect, then why bother trying?

Dishes? Never going to be perfect. The more you wash, the more that need washing. I believe it's better to leave them all haphazardly stacked in the sink and wait for Snow White and her woodland friends to magically wash, dry, and put them back in the cupboards for me.

Come to find out, Snow White doesn't work on the holidays. So, as we prepared our first Thanksgiving meal at home (courtesy of my mother-in-law), we were surrounded by putrid piles of plates. *Sigh*

This year, I am thankful for our family's ability to ignore the disaster that is our haven home house. I am also thankful for the ability to change.