Why? {Part 1}

"But as for you, speak the things which are proper for sound doctrine...that [the older women] admonish the young women to love their husbands, to love their children, to be discreet, chaste, homemakers, good, obedient to their own husbands, that the word of God may not be blasphemed."~Titus 2:1, 4-5, with emphasis added

I chose to become a homemaker before we had our son. Even before we had decided to start having children. Not a popular decision in today's society, but I felt God wanted me to get an "early" start on learning to be a homemaker before the distraction of babies. Real hands-on learning.

Even before the onslaught of dirty diapers, attempted breast-feeding turned pumping and bottle-feeding turned formula-feeding, and constant teething, learning the ways of homemaking was no easy task.

I am a perfectionist. And OCD. I like order and schedules and productive days.

I am also a procrastinator. Why do today what you can put off until tomorrow?

In the world of homemaking, this a major no-no. You quickly get into the mindset of "There's always tomorrow!" And suddenly, a month has flown by with ZERO productive days! There's a Jenga-like tower of moldy dishes in the sink, mountains of laundry in every which direction with no distinction between dirty and clean, and paper scattered about like the aftermath of a tornado. Absolute and utter CHAOS!

So finally, I created my schedules. And routines. Plan A and Plan B. And the cycle of productivity followed by procrastination leading to a lack of productivity back to a renaissance of productivity ensued.

I discovered in addition to being a procrastinator, I am also undisciplined.

In an environment such as school where schedules and deadlines are thrust upon me, I THRIVE. In my new, unfamiliar universe of self-discipline and self-management with no report cards or finished products, I continue to struggle.

But this is where God has called me to be. Regardless of my level of raw talent for home management. Despite the substantial amount of money I might make doing something else. This is where I need to be.