I want it ALL.
YOU know. The 120-pound frame. The perfect shiny, long, curly hair {My hair is naturally straight, with a few waves, so of course curly hair is perfect}. The perpetually spotless house. The gourmet food at every meal. The doting husband. The fun-loving, obedient kid{s}.
I want to be the {PERFECT}ChristianWifeMommyHomemakerFriendSisterDaughterHousekeeperCookHostessEmployee
BookkeeperGardenerWriterReaderPlannerThinkerStudentChurch-GoerGiverTeacherTrainer
AND SO ON...
Guess what?
I. CAN'T. Period. No. EXCLAMATION POINT!
God has not even called me to be all these things. That's the world pressuring me and tempting me to do it all, have it all, be it all. So what HAS God called me to? {Glad you asked!}
I believe God has called me to be:
*A disciple of Christ.
~Disciple: "A person who is a pupil or an adherent of the doctrines of another; follower."
~"Go therefore and make disciples...teaching them to observe all things that I have commanded you..." {Matthew 28:19a, 20a}
*A helpmeet to Rhea.
~"And the Lord God said, 'It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him a help meet for him.'" {Genesis 2:18}
*A trainer to Kendrick
~"Train up a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not depart from it." {Proverbs 22:6}
~"Correct your son , and he will give you rest; Yes, he will give delight to your soul." {Proverbs 29:17}
*A Homemaker
~"...the older women likewise...that they admonish the young women to love their husbands, to love their children, to be discreet, chaste, homemakers, good, obedient to their own husbands, that the word of God may not be blasphemed." {Titus 2:3a, 4-5}
If I stick to being who God has called me to be, He will sustain me.
And I will BE ALL I need, HAVE ALL I need, and DO ALL I need. ALL the God has called me to do, be, and have.
I think you are doing a good job! and that you are too hard on yourself!
ReplyDeleteWhat a great post! Such wise insights for such a young adult. For those of us who struggle with perfectionism, the challenge is to live those insights out on a daily basis. You will have good days and bad days. Disappointment is often associated with unrealistic or even impossible expectations or standards. Only the Holy Trinity can meet the expectation of absolute perfection - not human beings. The highway of holiness for Christfollowers lies somewhere between avoiding the ditches of lawlessness (antinomianism) and sinlesness (perfectionism). Given the circumstances, you are doing very well. Give yourself a break!
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