Real Parenting

Before you have kids, you have it all figured out. You know exactly what YOU would do in every situation. After all, you've baby-sat, witnessed numerous incidents of both good and bad parenting, and were once a child yourself! How hard could it be?

Finally the glorious day comes when you welcome your bundle of joy! Suddenly, fatigue, postpartum, and insomnia all burst into your life unannounced and quite unwelcome. Life follows and you do the best you can. Eventually you, your spouse, your child, or some combination thereof do something totally unexpected and you ask yourself, "Really?? Did that really just happen?"

Tonight, my husband and I took turns telling our son, "No. Come back here. Back over to Mommy and Daddy."

Finally, my husband says, "Hand me the puffs." (Definition: Gerber puffs; a snack for crawlers) I gave him the same tilted-head look that confused golden retrievers often employ. He grinned sheepishly and said,

"Whenever I don't feel like getting up to go get him, I shake the puffs container and he comes right over. Then I give him a few puffs as a reward." He paused. "Does that make me a bad person?"

I laughed and said, "Really?"

My husband proudly said, "Yeah! Watch this!"

He proceeded to shake the puffs container like a Shake Weight and sure enough our son came running! (Er, quickly crawling)

{No children were harmed during the aforementioned happenings. There was, however, one child who received numerous puffs for his outstanding performances.}