Wardrobe Malfunction

Shoes can be a little too big. No big deal. Shirts can be a little too big. Not a problem.

Leggings a little too big? NOT okay.

As I walked across the parking lot, bundled in my coat, carrying my son on my left hip, holding onto my purse and a sack of food with the diaper bag slung across my back, I felt something slipping. Not just slipping, shimmying. With every step, my leggings shimmied downward. I prayed that my coat would be long enough and no one would notice.

I continued to trek across the parking lot, then up the stairs to my sister's apartment holding onto to everything but my swiftly sagging leggings. Once safely inside, I carefully dropped my sack of food on the kitchen counter, my purse and diaper bag onto the floor of the living room, handed off my son to my sister, and barely said hello.

I went straight to the bathroom (relieved to have made it this far without any detection), hiked up my dress, and repositioned my droopy drawers to a more fashionably-appropriate location.

I would like to say this was the first time I experienced this problem. But sadly, a mere four hours earlier, I could have been spotted walking helter-skelter around Wal-Mart (in search of chicken strips) attempting to discreetly hoist my leggings to a more suitable locale.

I can, however, assure you that this will be the last time I have this problem. The leggings are being booted from my wardrobe. Effective immediately.